No.6

Friday night we went to the bar where DJ plays. He was very happy to see me, he told me many times how he had missed me. We ended up at our place with him, his friend, and S, of course. Drunk some gin, listened to some music, did some talking and some kissing and some teasing and they left around 11 am. I slept till 6pm and that was one of the worst days of my life in Paris. I had absolutely no money, I had to borrow 1,70e from S so I could buy a metro ticket to get to work at 7pm (I don't have money to recharge my metro card), I was very disoriented and had a slight hangover which caused many embarrassing mishaps and me acting very ghost-likely at work.

S said I have lost weight. It's probably true since I have no money to buy food. In fact, at the moment I have only pasta and butter in the cupboard. I also work like crazy in the restaurant, just running around and sweating my ass off 6 hours straight every night and then walking 30 minutes to get home in the middle of the night as the metros are shut and I always seem to miss the night busses. But since I have a history of a slight eating disorder that I never really got over with it only makes me happy if I lose a couple of kilos.

Then again, I have bruises everywhere, the skin in my index and middle fingers is peeling off thanks to the vinegar I have to use at work to clean the cutlery, there are white spots all over my nails, I heard it is probably caused by vitamin or mineral deficiency. My muscles are sore and I can't remember the last time I took a shower since S's bathroom is terribly bad and shared with the other tenant of this floor and anyway, why bother, it's so hot that I'll be just as sweaty in 5 minutes. I smoke too much and drink bad, bad wine or vodka or gin or tequila or martinis or some god awful drink mix or what ever I can get.

But hey, at least my toilet paper is perfumed!

Yesterday we decided to do something about all this crap and we went to the Eiffel tower parc to play some guitar and sing for money. Well that didn't work out too well since S is the one with the guitar and she was too ashamed to play, so instead we just sat on the grass, smoked our precious cigarettes and lulled in our self-pity. Then we met a guy from Bangladesh and he bought us a bottle of champagne and offered to buy us some pizza. He was nice, but kind of creepy with his small glasses and big teeth so we said thank you for the champange but no thank you for the pizza, it's very nice of you, but seriously, we need to be getting back home, no it's fine, you don't need to escort us to our front door, no, we don't have boyfriends but... well ok you can have my number but we have to go now, yeah sure call me tomorrow, à bientôt, ciaooo.

They say ev'ry man needs protection,
They say ev'ry man must fall.
Yet I swear I see my reflection
Some place so high above this wall.
I see my light come shining
From the west unto the east.
Any day now, any day now,
I shall be released.

It's going to be fine.



I guess.